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最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之一

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chamtin | 收聽TA | 只看該作者 回帖獎勵 |正序瀏覽 |閱讀模式
發表於 2012-2-2 21:48

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背景: 在美國律師是高收入的職業,但並不十分受人尊重。因而有很多律師的笑話。

假如你有機會在法庭上作證,但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been
as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a
defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to
undermine the police officer's credibility .....

問:警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場?
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

答:沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the
description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

問:警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像?
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'

答:是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

問:是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎?
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called
offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

答:我相信,我以人格保證。
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

問:以人格保證?那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎?
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a
room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily
duties?'

答:我們有的!
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

問:那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎?
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

答:我們有的!
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.'

問:那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎?
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

答:是的,上鎖!
A: 'Yes, sir.'

問:好, 這是為什麼, 警官,假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的,為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖?
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

答:你要知道,我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的,經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲,庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為他會得獎。
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
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