★★ 女人，妳的名字叫『麻煩』 - Android 台灣中文網

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2013-7-6 12:15 上傳

一、女人！
有首英文打油詩，這樣寫著：

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.
如果你親她，那你不是一位君子
If you don't, you are not a man.
如果你不親她，你就不算男人

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying.
如果你讚美她，她會認為你是在說謊
If you don't, you are good for nothing
如果你不讚美她，那你一無是處

If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing.
如果你完全同意，表示你是在敷衍她
If you don't, you are not understanding.
如果你不同意，表示你根本不了解她

If you make romance, you are an enperienced man.
如果你想要浪漫點，那麼你是情場老手
If you don't, you are half a man.
如果不是，那你根本還不夠格成為男人

If you visit her to often, she thinks it's boring.
如果你常去看她，她會覺你很煩
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing.
如果你不常去看她，她會覺得你在劈腿

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.
如果你穿得漂亮，她說你是個花花公子
If you don't, you are a dull boy.
如果穿得破爛，那你像是個白癡

If you are jealous, she says it's bad.
如果你吃醋，她會說這樣不好
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her.
如果你完全不吃醋，她又會認為你根本不愛她

If you attempt a romance, she says you do not respect her.
如果你試圖對她調情，她會說你不尊重她
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her.
如果你不這樣做，她會覺得你不喜歡她

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If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait.
如果你遲到一分鐘，她會抱怨等得多辛苦
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.
如果她自己遲到了，她會說遲到是女孩子的特權

If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel.
如果你去找朋友，她會說你像車輪趴趴走
If she is visited by another, "Oh, it's nature, we are girls."
如果是她去找朋友，"喔，這很自然啊，女孩子都是這樣的"

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold.
如果你偶而吻她一下，她會說你對她很冷漠
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage.
如果你吻太多了，她會大叫說你佔她便宜

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics.
如果你過馬路時沒幫她，你不夠體貼
If you do, she thinks it's one of the man's tactics.
如果你幫她，她認為這是男人的花招

If you stare at the other, she accuses you of flirting.
如果你凝視其他女人，他會指控你到處調情
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring.
如果其他男人凝視她，她會說他們只是羨慕而已

If you talk, she wants you to listen.
如果你不停的說，她希望你傾聽
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
如果你只是傾聽，她又想要你跟她說話

Oh! My God! You created those creature call "WOMAN".
喔！上帝！你創造了這些叫"女人"的生物
So simple, yet so complex.
既簡單又複雜
So weak, yet so powerful.
如此柔弱，卻又如此強悍
So confusing, yet so diserable.
讓人困惱，又讓人渴求

OhL！ORD! Tell me what to do. AMEN....
主啊！請告訴我該怎麼做，阿門！

二、戀愛方程式
想必大家都會同意：『金錢是所有麻煩之根』、『時間就是金錢』二句話。

要追求一個女人，你需要時間和金錢，所以
1.女人=時間x金錢
2.時間就是金錢，所以時間=金錢
3.女人=金錢 x金錢=(金錢) 2
4.金錢是所有麻煩之根
5.所以麻煩開根號，跟3.的(金錢)平方消去後，得到結論如下：
女人＝麻煩

你還會覺得我是個『麻煩』嗎？

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2013-7-6 12:15 上傳

作者: lcctno 時間: 2013-7-6 13:04
我喜歡美麗的麻煩喜歡漂亮的麻煩喜歡大方的麻煩寫了那麼多的麻煩不知道會不招來麻煩

作者: emie1245156 時間: 2013-7-6 13:23
從頭到尾的結論是
女人=麻煩